"Dear Mom and Dad,
Staying out of trouble at Camp Titan here in Tennessee is a lot harder than I thought it'd be. Today I got into a big fight when someone tried to bully one of my new friends. We were all playing football when this big guy tossed one of my teammates to the ground. I got really, really mad and hit him with my right hand, also known as the one thing that keeps us living in our cozy mansion and driving fancy cars.
My camp counselor, Mr. Fisher, says he's glad I stick up for the little guys. But he says if I hurt my hand punching fellow campers, we'll both wind up spending next summer in Colorado at Camp Crush. It's owned by some guy named John Elway.
So mom and pop, I think I've learned my lesson. Throw with the left then let the guys bigger than me finish the job. By the way, I'm running low on cash and porn. Hope a care package is headed my way.
Love always,
Li'l Vince "
Letters from Camp
'Twas the Night Before Saints Camp
Twas the night before Saints Camp and despite all the frenzy,
not an interception was missed, not even by McKenzie.
The jerseys were hung by the chimney with care
in hopes that a Lombardi trophy would soon be there.
Drew Brees was nestled all snug in his bed
with no thoughts of indictments filling his head.
Marques wore his grip glove, Fred Thomas his cast
and pledged “I won’t get burned this year, I’ll be super-fast!”
The backup QBs in their black and gold caps
joked “Let’s ‘pull a Romo’ and fumble some snaps!”
When out on the field there arose such a clatter.
Dhani put down his bow tie to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Copper flew like a flash,
But it was only Joe Horn throwing his career in the trash.
Another loud noise gave the boys quite a fright
…must mean more gunshots in Uptown tonight.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear
But Coach Sean Payton - and his eyes full of tears.
He unchained a dog once so lively and quick,
saying “Looks like we had another visit from Vick.”
More rapid than Eagles he said this Saints team will be.
And the players all ran to him bursting with glee.
“On Reggie! On Deuce! On Mark Simoneau!
We’re headed to Millsaps, not Thibodeaux!
To I-10 East and to the Twin Spans
Let’s prepare for the season with our Mississippi fans!”
They knew in an instant there’d be a ring this year.
For jolly old Payton made one thing quite clear.
“The gift of winning gives our fans an escape
from shady contractors and FEMA red tape.”
In 2006 they thought it was luck
Now we’ve got to show them we don’t really suck.
Another trip to the playoffs, yes that’s what we crave
and this time we’ll send those Bears back to their caves!
Drew sprang to his feet, got his team all pumped!
“We’re helping the Gulf Coast out of this slump!”
I heard Reggie exclaim as they drove out of sight.
“Enjoy your title now Colts…see you opening night!”
-Dedicated to our fans and our team! Geaux Saints!!
Copyright 2007 www.chicksinthehuddle.com
Countdown to Camp
For most of us, going to camp signals the start of summertime fun. For NFL players, it's just the opposite. The start of training camp means the party's over, back to work, no more sleeping in late. For some it means no more time spent making the Madden versions of themselves do things they could never accomplish in real life. (That means you Rex Grossman!) For others it means less time to prepare for the next court date.. (The dog-days of summer indeed #7.)
So just what makes camp so kick-ass and worth all the coverage it's getting in the media? For one, it's a chance for us NFL junkies to finally get our fix. We get to see if our draft picks are living up to their potentials, if the old fogeys on the team will get to keep their jobs as starters, and whether our teams made the right offseason moves. And just like the true NFL coaches and GMs, we're sizing up the best picks for our fantasy football squads.
As we prepare for the unoffical start of the NFL season, there are many questions left to ponder.
1) Is it 'game over' for Pacman?
-The Titans cornerback wants in on camp but he's still on suspension for his many, many, many legal troubles. And NFL commissioner Roger Goodell never ruled camp or preseason games off limits.
2) Will this season be Daunte's inferno?
-QB Daunte Culpepper is like the kid in class no one wants on their kickball team. You can't help but feel sorry for him, but you're still not pickin' him!
3) Will Ginn wear the fin?
-#9 draft pick Ted Ginn Jr. has yet to sign with the Miami Dolphins. The kick returner/receiver is expected to report to camp on Sunday.
4) Is the Saints' season "tanked?"
-Rumors are swirling that troubled former bears Defensive Tackle "Tank" Johnson could sign with New Orleans or the Buffalo Bills. Johnson is known for having as many arrests on his stat sheet as he does tackles.
5) Is one infamous falcon preparing for life as a jail-bird?
-While the Falcons are hinting QB Michael Vick will get to take part in camp regardless of his indictment on dog fighting charges, there's no telling what Falcons GM Arthur Blank could decide to do to salvage the team's season before it begins. Many believe Vick will do little more than serve as a distraction. While others can't help but break out in cold sweats at the thought of Joey Harrington leading the Falcons' offense.
Oh yes my friends, this should be the most interesting round of "How I Spent My Summer" book reports since Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan's last lunch date. Stay tuned...
