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Don't Bash My Bush

Usually, when we hear things like "Bush Sucks!" or "Bush is a Disappointment", or "Get rid of Bush", the image of that ex-cokehead president who's ruining the world tends to pop into our brains. But low and behold, there's another Bush who's getting whacked by the media and the general public as of late: the Saints very own #25. No, he didn't start a war for no reason, give tax cuts to the rich, or play air guitar while people were drowning after a hurricane. Instead, he's charged with the crime of being one of the most gi-normously overrated first rounders to come into the league since David Carr.
Just take a look at some of the headlines from the last week alone:
"(Adrian) Peterson is No Bush, Which is a Good Thing"
"Saints: The Next 'Mr. Everything' has been 'Mr. Nothing' So Far"
"Former Trojans Tripping Up in NFL."
"Dancing Cockatoo Loves a Boy-Band Beat"

(Actually, there's a slight chance that last one may not have anything to do with Reggie...)

In light of all the bad press, we decided to open up Reggie's stat book for ourselves to see just what all the trash talk is about. So far, Bush is averaging 3.5 yards a carry, has a total of 244 rushing yards on 69 carries, and 2 touchdowns. He's got 166 receiving yards, and he's fumbled 3 times (two of which were recovered.)
Okay, so not exactly MVP Numbers. But do the numbers really tell the whole story about Reggie's impact with the Saints and his potential for greatness? Take for example someone like Shaun Alexander, who at the same point of the season in his sophomore year had run for 345 yards, racked up only 24 receiving yards, and scored two touchdowns. In week nine of that same season, Alexander rushed for a franchise record 266 yards on 35 carries. By season's end, he led the NFL in rushing touchdowns with 14 and was tied for second overall with Terrell Owens.
Sure Alexander was showing more signs of life than Reggie during the earlier part of that season, but he was also doing it with the help of a tougher offensive line. The Seahawks 2001 offensive line ranked 16th in the league that season. The Saints line is currently ranked 29th. That's like (counting aloud and using my fingers) 1, 2,3...I don't know, like a bunch of spots different.
Reggie's tendency to dance toward the sideline has likely done little to help his stats (and done lots to make me swear at a glass breaking volume at the TV.) But you gotta admit, he's showing signs of progress. The Offensive coaches have started directing his plays up the middle, running him on north-south routes, and helping him find his comfort zone as an inside back. This strategy, along with some solid offensive line play) helped Reggie gain 97 yards in last week's game against Seattle, averaging 5 yards a carry.
Something else no one seems to be bringing up is that the Saints coaching staff has seemed hell bent on using Reggie as one of their primary receivers. This is likely due to the consistent double coverage on Colston and the consistent suckyness of Devery "Don't Call Me Butterfingers" Henderson. Now that WR Lance Moore and TE Eric Johnson are stepping up as solid go-to-guys, there's a good chance Reggie will get more opportunities to focus on and improve his running game.

Bottom line: Reggie's got some work to do, we know this. But he's also shown glimpses of the Heisman Trophy winner we came to fear and love at USC. He's not the only Saint struggling this season, the whole offense is off to an utterly "offensive" start. Let's see how he overcomes team adversity this season before permanently filing him in the flop category. And above all, let's acknowledge that his abs are hella ripped and he is freakin' hot. Should that not count for something?
(I figured digging up Seahawks offensive line stats from 2001 should afford me at least 1 girly/groupie comment.)
So not to worry, #25. You'll always be #1 in my book. (Unless of course another one of your fumbles almost costs us the game.) Oh yeah, and drop that Kardashian chick. She's got to be hiding some negative energy in all that ba-donk-a-donk...)

For Once, Joe Not Tooting His Own Horn

Bobby Hebert did it. Morten Andersen did it. And on Sunday, Joe Horn will do it too. No, we're not talking about letting his hand linger too long during a congratulatory butt pat. We're talking about returning to the Superdome to face the Saints while suiting up with the Green Goblin to our Spidey Man, those filthy, nasty, "Dirty Birds," The Atlanta Falcons.
Hollywood Horn, known for his leadership in the lockeroom and his gift of gab, has been shockingly mum on the notion of facing his old team. Maybe it has something to do with his team's suck-tacular 1-5 record, or his even more sucker-iffic 11 receptions for 117 yards after 6 games. During a news conference yesterday, Little Big Horn made some uncharacteristically low key statements about Sunday's matchup.

"I don’t have the right with all due respect to the organization and those players. I don’t have the right to even talk about what I might do and what our team might do to their team. That’s irrelevant."

No smack talk from Joe? Say it ain't so! What happened to the soundbite machine in the pimped out suits we all grew to know and love? The man who's cell phone end zone celebration during a blow out against the Giants will live on in infamy? Has the Hotlanta air (or a Hotlanta hoochie for that matter) sucked the life out of him?
As bitter as we may be about Mighty Joe Horn's ultimate betrayal, we can't help but miss his presence on the Black and Gold squad. And don't think for a second Joe doesn't know what it means to Miss New Orleans.
“…I miss New Orleans,” Horn said. “I miss the fans. I miss the people that were there with Joe Horn. That’s what I miss. I love New Orleans. I’m humbled."

It almost makes you feel sorry for the guy, until you realize on Sunday, he'll be wearing a black and red jersey. Who knew the day would come when he'd be on the receiving end of one of our voodoo needles? (Oh Joe, it seems like only yesterday we were converting one of your over-sized jerseys into an adorable mini-dress...) So, in light of our history, we pledge to avoid your crotch area while performing our gris-gris ritual on Mini-Joe. As for you Byron Leftwich, we suggest you wear TWO cups!

We Chicks Love Our Gossip....

Breaking News on Reggie's Bush

Reggie Bush and his bootylicious skank-bag Kim Kardashian have reportedly called it quits! According to mediatakeout.com, Reggie's now getting his "muscle" warmed up before games by an unidentified blonde bombshell. The two have been spotted at away games in Tampa and this past Sunday in Seattle. But it was just a few weeks ago when Bossip.com published this picture of Hollywood Hussy K-Kard at the Saints v Colts game, servicing hanging out with Reggie's Mantourage.
With Kim out of the picture, Valtrex is reportedly no longer banking on a Reggie Bush ad deal.

Is This Bunny Out for Merriman's Carats?
courtesy: Bossip.com
San Diego Charger Shawn Merriman is rumored to be doing a little bed hopping with a Playboy Bunny. The Pro Bowl Linebacker was seen canoodling (my, how we've longed to say that word) with Girls Next Door slutlet starlet Kendra Wilkinson. (We wonder if he responds to her "o-face" with the "lights out" dance???)

Brett's Buzz Kill

Riding high on a winning season and a newly cemented NFL record, Brett Favre is now dealing with some less than positive publicity. On Good Morning America, his wife Deanna admitted to almost leaving him at the height of his alcohol abuse. She says she kicked him out of the house back in 1999 and threatened to divorce him if he didn't get help.
The whole story is unveiled in her new book "Don't Bet Against Me."
It details how the NFL wife overcame her breast cancer diagnosis. Deanna says Brett had her full support to put his drug problems in the book.
In a related story, Brett's reportedly coming out with his own follow up to the book entitled, "The Pre-Nup Made Her Stay."

The Boys are Back in Town

Fresh off their first win, the Saints returned to New Orleans with a little extra pep in their steps. It must have been nice to be welcomed home by the crowd of die-hards who waited for their arrival along an access road to the airport. In light of the result of Sunday's game, the crowd ditched the pitch forks, torches, and grenades they originally planned to greet the team with and just held up some black and gold signs...
Now that they've got the winless monkey off their backs, they can focus on the mission at hand: kickin' some ass! The good news is, they're not delusional. They seem to know just how bad they've sucked it up this year and that they haven't quite shed all their sucky skin. In an interview with the AP, Scott Fujita said ...

"The only thing that one win did was guarantee we're not going to be 0-16. "We still got our butts kicked in the beginning of the season. But I think we all sensed that the tide was starting to turn. We should have won the Carolina game and that left a sour taste in everybody's mouth. So I think things are going to start to swing here."
You tell em Vagita!
Just like the Chicks, they made no secret of the fact that Devery Henderson blows and couldn't catch a cold in the middle of the winter, much less a football in the open field. Of course, Center Jeff Faine was much classier about the whole thing than we could EVER be.
"Guys were making catches this week. That's the biggest difference. We still haven't abandoned what our goal is and that's to get back into the playoffs, and once you get back into the playoffs it doesn't matter what your regular-season record was."

Whoa, slow down big guy. First things first. We gotta win Sunday's game against the Falcons. We gotta fry them dirty birds like a 2 piece, spicy, white from Popeye's Chicken. We want to burn Deangelo Hall like he's, well, Jason David. Pin Joey Harrington on his back like Senator Larry Craig in an airport bathroom stall...Make Joe Horn want to rip out his cell phone in the end zone for one reason only: to call his agent.

(Yes Joe, we can hear you now. And no, we don't pity you.)

Saints Snag 4 in Power Rankings!

Don't you just love a misleading headline! No, pigs aren't flying, hell has not frozen over, and the boys in Black and Gold are not 4th in this week's NFL Power Rankings. They did however move up 4 spots to #26. The move entitles them to look down pointing and laughing at the likes of the Bengals, Bills, Falcons, Jets, Rams, and Dolphins.

Below is a look at the top 10 and our reactions:

#1 New England Patriots (Shocking!)
#2 Indianapolis Colts (Boring!)
#3 Pittsburg Steelers (Who Cares-ing!)
#4 Dallas Cowboys (Infuriating)
#5 Jacksonville Jaguars (Whatever-ing!)
#6 Greenbay Packers (Inspiring!)
#7 Baltimore Ravens (Not For Long-ing!)
#8 Tampa Bay Bucs (Embarrassing!)
#9 New York Giants (Manning!)
#10 San Diego Chargers (Encouraging!)

Click here for a complete list of teams unworthy of our time.

Oh Snap! Battle of the Cheerleaders