Can I Kick It? "NO, YOU CAN'T!"

Looking for a new job? Got a strong leg and a good groin? How bout just one of the two? Well, then you just might have what it takes to be the next field goal kicker for the New Orleans Saints. The Saints are reportedly auditioning new kickers in light of Sunday's disaster at the dome where gimpy groined Olindo Mare missed 2 critical field goals. The kickers apparently arrived in New Orleans on Monday and will workout with the team all week.

The Lesser of Four Evils

Among the washed up talent auditioning with the Saints, the man dubbed an "Idiot Kicker" by Peyton Manning, former Colt Mike Vanderjagt. Vanderjagt is the man who turned on his team during a drunken interview with Canadian TV in 2003. (We don't know what's worse: the bad mouthing or the fact that he was in Canada...)
Vanderjagt, once known as "Mr. Accurate" became "Mr. Sucks Occasionally" when he signed with the Cowboys in 2006. He went 13-of-18 on field goals, just enough for a "Tuna" Melt-down. Bill Parcells kicked him to the curb in November.

Martin..."You So Crap-py"
Among the other auditioning kickers, the man who replaced Idiot Boy in Dallas: Martin Grammatica. Grammatica, once a stud among pint sized players, has been ousted by three teams in the past five years: the Bucs, the Cowboys, and the Patriots. Martin's agent claims the inconsistent kicker is now "Grammatica-lly" correct, and has healed from his old injuries.

(There are unconfirmed reports the kicker spent his free-time as an understudy for Corbin Bleu's character in High School Musical.)





No...Not Again!
Former Saints Kicker Billy Cundiff, you know, the dude who missed two field goals last season, including a 47 yarder during the NFC championship game, is also hoping to put his best foot forward and secure Mare's job. According to the Times Picayune:

"Cundiff had signed in the offseason with the Atlanta Falcons but did not make the Falcons' final roster. He worked out last week for the New York Giants, and two weeks ago for the Jacksonville Jaguars, who instead signed (John) Carney as a fill-in while Josh Scobee recovers from a quadriceps pull."

(Damn, this is like keeping up with the bed hopping cast members on Grey's Anatomy!)

With options like these, Saints fans can rest easy knowing with full confidence our season is officially over.