Game Day Chick Tip: What NOT to Wear

They are as common at a football game as a missed tackle, a complaining wide receiver, and a chubby beer guy. And unlike a hold committed during a kick return, this kind of foul can be spotted almost immediately. That’s right, we’re talking about the ultimate personal foul; the dreaded Fan Fashion Faux Pas.

You see them all the time in the form of tube tops threatening to fall down, short skirts threatening to ride up, and flabby, hairy men who always seem most prone to opt for body paint over an actual shirt. (Why can’t the Brad Pitts and Tyson Beckfords of the world ever be die-hard enough to go topless?)
While real fans know fashion statements shouldn’t be a top priority, it’s definitely something worth a few seconds of thought if you plan on watching the game somewhere other than on a couch. Below are a few fashion fouls for all us Chicks to review so as to avoid a game day beat down!

Fashion Faux Pas #1: Club Clothes Penalty: 10 yards
Unless you plan on joining the cheerleaders at halftime, there’s really no need to show up to a game in something that could have been pulled from a closet in the Playboy Mansion. With that in mind, we advise you to completely avoid the section of your closet that includes the following: daisy dukes, tube tops, prom gowns, the little black dress, and your favorite skirt from 8th grade.
No need to wear anything bulky or butch. Just keep in mind wardrobe malfunctions are meant for the field, not the stands.

Fashion Faux Pas #2: Color Blind Penalty: 15 yards
Not since wearing white after Labor Day has the color of your attire been so important. A true fan knows to either wear the team colors or avoid the opponent’s colors on game day at all costs. Imagine showing up at the Dome wearing green and yellow for a Packers game. You deserve to get the same kind of snowball pelting Eagles fans gave Santa Claus on that chilly Philly day in 1968.


Fashion Faux Pas #3: The Stiletto No-No Penalty: 10 yards
You can barely walk in them at work. What makes you think you can wear them to an event that requires you to stand up, cheer, dance, second line, and possibly throw a temper tantrum for 3 hours straight? Face it honey, Carrie Bradshaw’s about the only woman who can make a pair of stilettos look like Aerosoles Ballet Flats. Nobody wants to hear you whining and complaining about how much your dogs are barking when the team is down by 10 with 5:00 minutes left in the game. Chick Tip: Stick to the shoes you turn to for Christmas shopping on Black Friday. They’ve proven in the past they can go the distance.