Game Day Chick Tip: Don't get mad, get Madden

Does this scenario sound familiar: You're at a sports bar cheering for your favorite football team (preferably the Saints) when all of a sudden something good/bad happens and you cheer/curse at the top of your lungs in disbelief. Everyone's screaming with you it seems until out of nowhere, some big shot, big bellied guy starts challenging your knowledge of the game. He throws in a "Do you even know what you're yelling about?" Followed by an oh-so-condescending "You just like the players' uniforms." You attack back with all the stats and figures you know about your team, player names and positions, fun facts and trivia. But then, he throws you a curveball. He asks you about something you've always wanted to learn more about but never really did since, unlike him, you didn't have a chance to play football in school. That's right, the dreaded football formations. And despite all your obvious knowledge of the game, he gets the last word just because you didn't know what it means to be in the Over/Under 4-3 Defense.
At this point you have several options.
Option 1: Break your beer bottle over the table and charge him like a rhino. (Hope you look nice in your mugshot...)
Option 2: Run out crying, confirming all his stereotypes about Chick Fans.
Option 3: Politely suggest he buy a maternity jersey to cover that big gut of his. Then, vow to now get mad, but get Madden.
John Madden is a man many consider to be the Dalai Lama of pigskin. The sportscaster and former NFL coach is one of the most respected men in football. He guided the Oakland Raiders to an overall record of 103-32-7, leading the team to seven AFC Western Division titles and a victory over the Minnesota Vikings in Super Bowl XI. His winning percentage (.750) is the best of any head coach in NFL history. It's no wonder generations of men call upon his wisdom when debating the ins and outs of football with their friends or why they spend hours glued to a controller playing the latest update of his video game.
So, what can Madden do for you? Well, unless you plan on trying out for your local powder puff football team, playing Madden is about as close as you'll get to actually getting in the game. There is no faster way to learn about different formations, how each position affects another, and the best way to defend a certain pass route then to have to come up with all the strategies yourself. Of course, be prepared to get a butt kicking from the computer team you're playing against the first few times out. But before long, you're sure to pick up the formations like a pro. You can also click here to check out other tips on football formations and plays and when they should be used. Then, you can start taking on human Madden buffs, to really get a handle on your coaching skills. Before long, you'll be dropping more formation knowledge than T.O. drops balls!
As for pudgy at the sports bar, don't worry. Your paths will cross again. And after you leave his jaw dropped from your obvious grasp of the game, stump him on a topic he likely knows little about...the female anatomy.